Letters
by Ittoki Otoya
Summary: AU. Ichinose Tokiya had two childhood friends, Ittoki Otoya and Nanami Haruka. Tokiya left abroad without managing to clear the misunderstanding he had with Otoya. And in the five years that he was away, he sent a letter to the both of them every month without receiving a single reply from Otoya. When he finally came back, the reason to that was something he did not expect.


_[[ A/N: This is AU so it has nothing to do with the main Uta No Prince-Sama series at all. I'm just using the characters' name in this weird strange plot that my brain developed. And yeah. Ended up writing by concentrating on a character's thoughts again instead of speeches again. Argh. It's a bad habit that I can't seem to shake and I apologise if that isn't your type. I understand that some people prefer reading something that has more speeches so I'm sorry if you don't like it._

_Haven't written anything about Otoya and Tokiya for so long. D:_

_My mind has just been distracted away from them and towards some other series lately. Gah. But at least I managed to make myself write this, even if it's an AU setting. Probably won't be able to write anything about them in a while too. =c ]]_

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_Ichinose Tokiya grew up with two people, Ittoki Otoya and Nanami Haruka. If you asked him when the three of them started hanging out together, he would not be able to answer that when he could barely remember a day without the two of them. Otoya's house was right in the middle of Tokiya's and Haruka's and soon after Tokiya had met Otoya, he had introduced her to him. They were in the same pre-school and grade school, although they were not always in the same class together. _

_The three of them had always been inseparable but Tokiya's feelings for the both of them had always been different. As a kid he had once voiced it out before but he did not think the other person even remembers it. A random confession he had done when they were alone once, the sun was shining down on them and the gleam in the other's eyes was really pretty._

_Before he knew it, he was already captivated by it and he had spoken his thoughts out loud. "Your eyes are pretty, the sun really does suit you, you're always as bright as it and that's exactly what I like about you. It's hard not to watch you when you're always shining and your smile is just like the sun too. I love seeing your smile more than anything, it makes my day just by seeing it."_

_His remark had caused the other person to blush bright red and stutter out embarrassingly. It was cute to see the unusual blush that was on the other person's face and it was a memory that would be forever in his head, but he had a picture taken with the camera he happened to have with him. His mother was kind enough to lend it to him for a day to take a group photo of the three of them after he asked her for it._

_It was not hard to get her approval since he has always been careful and his mother knew she could trust him with things, he was the most mature out of the three of them after all. He had a bad habit of trying to get everything as perfect as he could too and often spend his days studying hard and trying to get high grades._

_The people in his school were always confused about why a stoic and cold person like Tokiya would be friends with the bubbly Otoya and the sweet Haruka. Otoya would often cling to him and Tokiya found himself pushing him away out of embarrassment. He was fine with it when they were alone but in school, people would often stare at them and there were chuckling and laughter that his old friend would be oblivious about._

_"Don't you find it strange that Oto-kun would be friends with someone like Ichinose? He's always so cold towards him too. I don't see what Haru-chan and Oto-kun see in him and treat him so nicely. I can't believe that they're childhood friends too." Those were the things that Tokiya overheard often and he ignored them when there was no point explaining to strangers what their friendship is like._

_"To-ki-ya~" A familiar pair of arms were wrapped around his shoulders and Tokiya glanced away from his book to the owner of the arms. "Otoya. What are you doing here?" He did not recall making an appointment with Otoya today and there was no way he would ever forget an appointment with Otoya or Haruka._

_Haruka was not here today too. She must be busy with her classmate, Tomochika then. The soft-spoken girl used to only have Otoya and Tokiya as her friends but she was opening up to Tomochika and the both of them were relieved to see that although Otoya argued that Tokiya had no right to say that when he scare most people off._

_"I finished this new song of mine. Want to listen to it~?" Otoya answered cheerfully and Tokiya placed his book away without a word. Otoya would not go away till he hear his song and there was no way he would be able to read in peace whenever Otoya comes over. Otoya's songs were really warm just like him and Tokiya liked listening to his songs even if they were rather short and with just the words that Otoya knew how to use._

_He gave a brief nod and Otoya knew this was Tokiya's way of giving him the okay. The lyrics had a few mistakes and Tokiya voiced it out to a pouting Otoya who was hoping to hear something else. "Wah! Tokiya's just so mean!" The pout on Otoya's face was cute and he was laughing quietly at the sight of Otoya puffing his cheeks._

_"I like it though." His words may be short but he knew that would be more than enough to make Otoya smile again. The hug came just like Tokiya expected and he hugged the redhead back. Hugs were not something that he liked much but he had always made an exception for Otoya and Haruka, although Otoya tends to hug him more than Haruka._

_The remaining of the day was spent with Tokiya helping Otoya with his homework and listening to Otoya talk while putting in a few sentences in response. Otoya ended up staying over for dinner like every time he comes over and dinner has always been more cheery when Otoya is around. His mother barely talks to him anyway._

_"Tokiya-kun?" Tokiya turned around and his gaze fell onto the huge plastic bag she was holding and he was quick to carry it for her. "Haruka. Why do you have such a huge bag with you?" The bag was filled with vegetables and Tokiya raised an eyebrow at the smaller bag she holding with tomatoes seen on the top._

_"Weren't you supposed to be over at your grandmother's house?" Haruka had a weak health since Otoya and him first met her and he remembered that she had stayed over at her grandmother's house for a period of time once. "I just came back from there and she gave me these vegetables she grew. Would you like some?" _

_He had ended up staying over at Haruka's home for lunch as her way of thanking him. Otoya ended up stopping by too and the three of them spent their day together like how they always did. Tokiya was fine with just the two of them as friends, they were already more than enough for him. He thought that he would be able to be with them forever, but that was just a childish side of him._

_A month before he was supposed to enrol in a Middle School, he learnt that he had to study abroad and leave behind his two companions. His mother was transferred to another country and he was supposed to follow her. Tokiya had no idea how to tell his two friends about that and the time passed by just like that. _

_On the day before he wanted to leave, Tokiya finally gathered up the courage to tell his two friends that he was leaving and the latest he could come back would be five years later. He was planning to confess again but things did not go as planned as he did not get the chance to do so after the news of his departure._

_He ended up with a really rocky relationship with Otoya who was greatly hurt that Tokiya only informed him at the last minute and he had stormed away before Tokiya could explain to him. Tokiya left without ever getting to explain himself and when Otoya came to see him off, he had only mumbled a good bye when he saw Haruka hugging him and that was the last time he had ever seen Otoya . _

_Throughout the five years he was away, he wrote them both one letter each month but Haruka's replies were the only one that he had ever received. Despite never receiving Otoya's replies, he continued to send his letters in hope that Otoya would reply one day. Tokiya refused to give up hope that Otoya would reply one day and his relationship with Otoya would return to as it was before. _

_He had sent a total of sixty letters already and even on the last month before he was returning, he never did receive a single letter from Otoya. For some strange reason, Tokiya was finding Haruka to be more and more like Otoya when some of the things she mentioned in her letters felt like something Otoya would write. He was starting to warm up to her more too. Tokiya was grateful that she was willing to forgive him for not telling her till the last minute and she was always sure to mention Otoya in her letters._

_Maybe he was missing his friend too much that he was seeing Haruka a little like Otoya and she was the only link he had to know that Otoya had been doing well. Tokiya received a recording from Haruka once, a CD she claimed that Otoya recorded and gave to her. It was the only thing he had gotten that had Otoya's voice in it and he was glad that she mailed it over to him in her first letter to him._

_Tokiya had listened to it every day and if he had not duplicated the CD and kept the master copy, the CD no doubt would have spoilt like the few copies he had from his often usage during the five years he was away. It was constantly playing that he already memorised the song and he could hum it easily._

_The song helped to make it seem like Otoya was still around and Haruka was sure to include a few bits about Otoya in her letters to him and Tokiya never had the heart to have her ask why Otoya never replied to him. It was his fault for only informing Otoya at the last minute and while the redhead has always been open to him, Tokiya was rarely the same way towards him and Otoya must no doubt be hurt deeply that he refused to talk to him for so long._

_Up until the day he returned, he believed that Otoya never replied was because he had never forgiven him and their misunderstanding was never settled. The answer was very much different than he thought. Tokiya never imagined that the real reason was something like this._ He had first tried to visit Otoya's house but he soon learnt that he had already moved away.

It was all so easy for a sad smile to form by itself as he looked over his old house. This was not his house anymore and it was not the place he knew from his childhood. Otoya no longer lived here and he was not surprised to hear that it was just recently that Otoya moved too. "You don't want to see me that much huh?" Tokiya whispered to himself as he clutched onto the small trinket of a musical note that Otoya gave to him when they were younger.

The next place he stopped at was Haruka's home. The only place left from his past. The only people Tokiya ever treasured were Otoya and Haruka, those five years apart had not changed that face. Haruka's mother seemed surprised to see him and she broke into tears immediately when she asked him to come in. "So you're finally back, Tokiya-kun? I knew the day would come for me to explain and apologise to you when Otoya-kun told me he was moving away and you're going to come back soon."

Tokiya could only watch her in a confused manner as he was ushered to sit on the couch and she disappeared for a moment before returning with a small box. _"What did you mean that you had something to explain to me? Where's Haruka?" The house was strangely quiet and there were no traces of Haruka's shoes or belongings around the living room. Even the piano seemed dusty._

_"Haruka….. She passed away two weeks after you left. You're aware that she has always been weak right? Her illness worsened and after struggling in pain for a week, she passed on. At least she won't have to suffer anymore." Haruka's mother was sobbing more but Tokiya's mind was in too much confusion for him to offer any comfort._

_If that was true, who was the one who had been writing letters in Haruka's sake? She passed away two weeks after his left which meant that the first letter that she ever sent to him was not something she wrote along with all the other ones. Tokiya had never received much writings from Haruka and Otoya so he was not really sure of their handwriting._

_But the handwriting of the letters he received were consistent and the same, although it has grown neater as the years passed by. It could still be seen as written by the same person though. When he asked her mother that question, the expression on her face grew sadder and she apologised instantly._

_ Was she the one who wrote the letters to him then? That would be awkward when he had developed a small crush on the person who had been writing him those letters. "The one who had been writing the letters on Haruka's behalf is… Otoya-kun. He knew you were smart and it wouldn't be hard for you to realise that the handwriting of both letters were the same so he decided to ignore his own and just reply to hers instead."_

_Tokiya's eyes widened and the small trinket in his hand clutched tighter. All these time, Otoya was the one sending his those letters and he did not even notice. How was he so blind as to know realise that the one writing those letters were Otoya. No wonder the letters felt like Otoya, no matter how hard someone tries, it's impossible to completely get rid of including their personality into the things they write. "But why did he choose to write them in her state?"_

_"That's because Haruka strike a promise with Otoya-kun to not inform you of her condition no matter how much it worsens, even if she passes away he was not to let you know. I don't think she actually wanted Otoya-kun to go as far as to pass off as her and ignore his own letters. Otoya-kun was under the assumption that since the both of you parted on bad terms, he might as well just make you happier by having the person you like reply to you. No matter how hard I tried to persuade him, Otoya-kun refused to change his decision and replied to all the letters addressed to Haruka for the past five years." Her face was full of guilt from hiding this from Tokiya all this time._

_"I could tell he was suffering though. Whenever Otoya-kun looked at the letters you continued to write him, his expression was always filled with sadness and he would pretend that everything was alright whenever he caught me watching him. The only thing I could do to reduce some of his sadness was to convince him to at least write replies to the letters you sent him and give them to me if he can't bring himself to mail them to you. I knew he read every letter addressed to him and he would fake a chuckle whenever he tells me that you're an idiot for sending letters to someone who hasn't replied to a single one of his." _

_So that was what the small box she had gone to take earlier was. They were all the letters she had collected from Otoya during the five years. He had looked up for confirmation and the nod she gave him answered his unspoken question. The box was passed gently to him._

_The box was filled with letters all addressed to him, they were all in purple envelopes, the colour that Tokiya liked the most. They were no doubt all the letters Otoya wanted to send but could not send to him and the handwriting was the same as the ones that he had received every month. "Why did he move away?" That was the only thing he wanted to know right now._

_"Otoya-kun didn't want to see you and he didn't know what to say for posing as the person that you're in love with. Haruka's mother had smiled sadly and patted him on the head. "He was wrong wasn't he? The one you were in love with since you were kids was Otoya-kun right? I'm sorry that I never told him that. It was selfish but I wanted to keep my daughter's wish and I knew he deserved to know that but I doubted that he would even believe me even if I tell him. Otoya-kun was suffering all this time even if he was pretending to be his usual self in front of me, I could tell. I'm sorry, Tokiya-kun. The both of you have suffered all because of my daughter's wish. This time, you have to make Otoya-kun happy. Tell him that I'm grateful and I'm sorry for everything that he has done."_

_She placed a small scrap of paper of an address with it and Tokiya took it silently. He had no idea what to say, she knew that the one he liked was Otoya but she never told him that even when she knew Otoya had misunderstood about his feelings. What was he supposed to think about that? "Stop by to see me sometime with Otoya-kun." _

_He chuckled and tightened his hold on the trinket. "Otoya must be willing to listen to my explanations first." Tokiya turned away from her and excused himself. There was no way he could just stay here after what he heard. Not knowing what to say to her was not going to help too. The door was closed shut and Tokiya was overwhelmed by emotions right now._

_What should he do now? Go after Otoya? He did not even know if the redhead wanted to see him, that was the reason why Otoya moved away. It took a while but Tokiya finally made up his mind and asked his driver to drive them to the address on the piece of paper. Even if Otoya refused to see him, at least he tried. _

_He would do all he could to have Otoya listen to him and he really wanted to see him after five years. What does he look like now? Is his personality still the same as always? Had he matured? Is he still shorter than him? What are Otoya feelings for him? There was always the possibility that he had moved on and found someone else. Even if that was so, he still wanted to voice out his feelings. Nothing had changed these past five years and ironically, he had a small crush on him without knowing that the letters were written by him too. Were all these coincidences? He had no clue and the answer to all his questions were obviously when he meet him._

_It was pretty far and the trip would take two hours at least. During the car ride, Tokiya had read every letter in the box. It was sorted out carefully, the older one being placed on the top of the newer ones. Haruka's mother must have sorted it when she knew he was coming back. The first letter started off apologising to him for not making up with him before he left and acting so childish that they were unable to part ways in a better manner._

_Otoya had stated that it was on a selfish whim that he had mailed him a recording of his songs in a CD with the letter he wrote in Haruka's state. It would be Otoya's only selfish desire and everything else would be written for Haruka's sake and he would just be a side character and only mentioning himself briefly like he was healthy and managed to pass most of his tests and stuff._

_In each letter, Otoya had apologised that he could not send it to him and he knew it was pointless to reply when Tokiya would never see it. He had felt bad that Tokiya had continued writing to him even though he had never mailed a single reply to him. At the end of every letter, this was always this question as to why Tokiya was so foolish to continue sending him letters._

_There were always dried tear smudges in every letter and Tokiya knew it had pained Otoya a lot to write these letters to him. Writing a reply to something you knew the other party would not be able to see must have hurt and you would start questioning why you ever bother doing that. The last letter had him frowning as Otoya explained the reason as to why he moved away in that._

_He had no idea what gave Otoya the impression that he was in love with Haruka. Was it how he had treated Haruka nicer since she was not tackling him into a hug whenever she sees him unlike Otoya. Tokiya remembered doing that as punishment and hoping to rid Otoya of that bad habit. Did he misunderstood that? _

_There was something that did not make sense too, he had sent sixty letters but there were sixty-one letters in the box. He had finished reading all of them and that letter was indeed a response the last one he sent last month. That was strange._

_The last letter was different from the others and the envelope was red while the rest were all purple. Was this one something special? It was sealed too and Tokiya was curious to see why this letter was so special. It was not a reply to his letters that was for sure so what was it? Red was Otoya's favourite colour too and he knew that everything important to him was in red. Just like the CD he received, it was red in colour too._

_Now that he thought about it, that CD must be something important if it was red and Otoya mentioned something about it being important that it would be the only think he would be selfish and mail something over with it being something that he wanted to do rather than what he should be thinking in Haruka's sake. What did Otoya write in the letter in Haruka's sake when he mailed the CD over again? _

_Tokiya closed his eyes and tried to dig through his memories for the specific sentence that had caught his attention when he first read it. "Ah! I remember now. __This is the CD that I received from Otoya-kun. I believe it would be something that he would have wanted you to hear so I sent it over without telling him. You should hear it, it's a song that I think is important to him.__" That was what it was stated in the letter._

_If Otoya was the one writing it, then the CD was something he really wanted him to hear and that it was something important. But what about it was important? It was a normal CD with just a song and no hidden messages or anything. Despite the lyrics being something that was meant to sound happy, Otoya's tone when he sang it was rather sad. That was the only thing that he had ever thought was strange when he first heard the song._

_Tokiya could feel the teardrops falling from his eyes when he finished reading what it wrote. It was a confession letter, one that Tokiya wanted to yell at Otoya for being an idiot. Why did Otoya not realise that the one he had always been looking at was him and not Haruka? If he remembered the confession Tokiya made to him when they were kids why did he not comprehend that Tokiya's stand for that matter had never changed? The redhead was such an idiot and he was an idiot for not picking up that Otoya was the one that had been replying to him._

_There was always a strange feeling when he read those letters he believed were written by Haruka and he had pushed it off as sadness that Otoya wasn't the one replying to those letters._ _It made sense how the letters had things that he would want to know, Otoya was the only one that ever truly understood him but he was blind when it came to Tokiya's feelings._

_The letter wrote that Otoya was very happy when Tokiya confessed to him when they were younger and he regretted not being able to tell him that he returned his feelings back then. When they grew up, he had started noticing Tokiya more and more and wanting to stay with him more than anything._

_It was hard to understand when Tokiya stopped returning his hugs and started treating him coldly whenever he tried to hug him in school and scold him whenever he was not studying. Otoya had thought that Tokiya had stopped liking him and despite that, he had still wanted to be in Tokiya's company. Being around Tokiya was when Otoya was at his happiest and he did not want to change that._

_He was hurt when Tokiya only announced to him that he was moving abroad on the day before he left, at the same moment when he told Haruka. So he was no longer important to Tokiya that he would be the first one to tell him things compared to when they were kids? Tokiya used to tell him things before he told Haruka and when he saw the two of them hugging that day, Otoya realised that the one that Tokiya liked now was Haruka and no longer him._

_That was why he had refused to speak to Tokiya, the double hurt was preventing him to think properly and he was afraid that what he might say would make things worse. It served as a good enough reason to not reply to Tokiya's letters when Otoya strike that deal with Haruka too. He knew he had to bury his feelings for Tokiya then but not before he sent that CD to Tokiya._

_The lyrics were supposed to be a present to Tokiya but he ended up not giving it to Tokiya when he caught sight of him hugging Haruka. But no matter what, he wanted to let Tokiya listen to this song, the first song he ever composed for him. The tone ended up sad because of his negative feels and he could not bring himself to sing it in a more positive tone when this song has turned into a sad one for him._

_"Huh? There's something else here." He was going to put the letter back but there was another smaller piece of paper there that he missed out earlier. Unfolding it, it was the lyrics of the song he knew so well. There was a difference though, this was the completed version. The song he had was a much shorter one and this one was different._

_The ink on the paper varied and there was a small note scribbled on the bottom of it. __'It took me a long time but I finally finished this. It was hard to finish the lyrics and I only added bits whenever Tokiya's letters came. Stupid isn't it? Even if I finished this, I won't be able to sing it and Tokiya wouldn't hear it too. What's the purpose of finishing this? But this song is still important to me, even if I'm going to seal it away with the letter that held all my feelings. Good bye, Tokiya.'_

_That idiot. The lyrics reflected Otoya's feelings and although the later lyrics were much sadder than the earlier ones, the song still showed the warmness that belonged to Otoya. But would Otoya even see him? What was he even going to say when he reaches him? There were just so much things he wanted to say to him and his mind could not even think up anything._

_His composedness always disappeared when it came to Otoya; in fact he would find himself acting so out of character and unlike him whenever Otoya was involved. But then when he realised his own feelings, he knew that the only person he would ever love and value more than anything would be Otoya. When he was studying abroad, no one appealed to him like Otoya did and he found himself comparing them to him._

_They all lacked the warmness that Otoya gave off and none of their smiles were as bright as his. Otoya's smiles were the prettiest to him and he longed to see them again, even if it was just this one time. He did not need to have Otoya to return his feelings; he just wanted to see that smile again. Even if Otoya had someone now, that smile was still the most important to him. Something that he would always want to see, as long as Otoya continued smiling, his day would be made. That was how it had always been._

_The car had stopped and he knew it was time to get it over with. He would see Otoya and the two of them would have to have a long talk if Otoya was willing to talk to him. Tokiya was still unsure of what to say and he was just going to see how he was going to react when he finally see him again._

_After making sure that he got the right door, he stared at the red door for a few seconds before bracing himself to knock on it. Tokiya continued staring at the door expectantly, waiting to see who would be the one to open it. The door was opened and a pair of familiar reddish orange orbs were staring back at him._

_The both of them stared at each other, Otoya out of surprise and Tokiya out of remising. Otoya had hardly changed, he was much taller than before, probably just a few centimetres shorter than him and his face much more matured. His eyes were still reminding him of the sun, although the usual glow he used to see in them were lacking._

_"Tokiya…" Otoya was the first to spoke out and he finally realised that he was staring at the person he was trying to avoid. He tried to shut the door but Tokiya was much faster than him and he was being tugged forward into a hug. A hug that was all too nostalgia to the both of them and ironically, the first time that it was initiated by Tokiya._

_Otoya fought against the hug and tried to wriggle free but Tokiya's grip on him was much too strong and he soon gave up trying to struggle out of it. He refused to hug Tokiya back though and Tokiya was not surprised by that. The words were stuck in his throat and he closed his eyes to calm down before he finally opened his mouth._

_"I'm….sorry. I'm sorry that I never realised that the one who had been writing to me all this time was you and about your feelings. I didn't know my actions made you upset and even if your feelings change and you already have someone else, I still want to tell you this. You still remember what I said to you when we were kids right? What I said back then, my feelings are still the same. I was always, always looking at you and only you. Your smiles are still the thing I treasure the most and even before I even said those to you, I was already in love with you. These five years apart did nothing to change that, the CD that you sent over was what kept me going to continue sending those letters to you. You wouldn't believe how many times I have been hearing it. I can sing out the lyrics up to where your CD stopped at well but as for the completed version….I'm a little unsure if I can get every lyric right or sound properly for it."_

_Tokiya tightened his hold on Otoya for a moment as he coughed to make sure that his voice was ready to sing out the lyrics he had memorised from hearing it so many times. He had often hummed it to himself but singing it out loud was a different case and he wondered if he could pulled it off. Too late for regrets now and it was the only way to prove that he had been hearing that CD._

_The first few words came out a little weird but he soon managed to get tone right and the rest of the lyrics came out alright. Singing was always something that Otoya had an interest in and Tokiya had never really tried singing before so this was pretty much his first time. He soon stopped right at the end of the lyrics he knew and awkwardly apologised as he released his hold on him. "Sorry. I'm afraid that I might ruin your song if I try singing the other part of it when I haven't managed to memorise it well and I'm not sure if my voice is even suitable for singing." He was regretting not memorising it earlier._

_"Don't be stupid. Your voice is suitable for singing, you just need more practice. And….. the other part of the song goes like this." A pair of arms that were just brushing his sides earlier wrapped around him and Tokiya blinked before relaxing into the hug. Otoya was singing the other part of the song and his voice was obviously much more matured than the one in the CD. There were still some faint traces of Otoya's old voice though and this just reminded him of how long they were away from each other._

_This Otoya was not the one that he knew so well and there was bound to be changes from the one from his memories. The only thing that would not change was that this was Otoya, no matter how different he is now, he would still be Otoya. And his smile would still be the thing that he wants to see now._

_Tokiya was still unsure of their current situation right now and Otoya was quiet again once he finished singing. "Oto—" The silence was making him unease and he had wanted to speak up but Otoya opened his mouth at the same time and his mouth closed again. "I'm surprised that you were able to memorise the lyrics to the song. You must have listened to it many times to be able to remember it word for word with no mistakes at all. I didn't think you would listen to that so much…..and judging from how you knew there was another part to the song must have meant that you saw that letter. So Haruka's mother broke her promise to me and gave it to you? How much did you read….? Ah. That trinket….."_

_"All sixty-one of them. You wouldn't believe how many CDs I spoiled from the constant playing too. This? You gave it to me remember? You said that it was a matched pair and you had one just like it—" He felt Otoya tensed up at his words and another silence passed through them. He had stopped when he caught sight of Otoya's necklace. It was the same musical note on his keychain, Otoya had turned his into a necklace. _

_This was a sign that he still had hope to make up with Otoya. "You know. This was all my fault wasn't it? I was going to confess to you again before I left but you didn't give me a chance to. I should have ran after you back then and I'm sorry that my actions caused you to think that I had a change of heart. If I was better at expressing myself, maybe this problem wouldn't be present right now. It might be too late but I'm sorry. I just wanted to clear this misunderstanding with you, even if you no longer feel the same. It was nice seeing you again, goo—"_

_Otoya's grip tightened when he moved away and a head rested on his shoulder. "It's not too late and who said that my feelings changed? Like you, my feelings haven't changed these past five years. You don't know how much I tried to forget you, the letters that you kept sending did nothing to help. I tried not reading them and I could never bring myself to throw them away. I ended up losing my determination and reading them and even in your letters to Haruka, you were always mentioning me. I tried dating other people but they weren't you and I wasn't able to show much interest in them and they are ended quickly. It took me ages to harden my heart and finish the lyrics to the song that I wanted you to hear, never thought I would be able to sing it to you though. Nee, Tokiya. Why can't I forget you?"_

_"I don't want to forget you and neither do I want you to forget me. You're important to me and do you think I will let you go after this? I love you and that feeling won't ever change." Tokiya smiled and patted the head resting on his shoulder gently. His shirt was getting wet but he kept quiet about it and tilted Otoya's chin up._

_"I won't leave again and nothing like this will happen again, I assure you. I won't keep things from you again and I will be sure to be more honest and express myself better. I won't ask for anything out of our relationship right now, but can I just stay by your side? I just want to start anew with you again, being friends is more than enough." His smile widened as he watched the familiar gleam in Otoya's eyes returned._

_Tokiya reached up and wiped the remaining teardrops away from Otoya's eyes. "I won't make you cry anymore and I like seeing you smile more than anything." His arm was grasped tightly and his eyes widened at the sight of Otoya smiling. The smile that he had missed these five years, he was finally able to see it again. It was much brighter than he remembered and certainly still pretty._

_"Of course you can. But like you said, I won't let you leave again and if you do leave, I will be sure to follow you. Friends might be enough for you but it isn't for me. I don't want to ever misunderstand again and thinking that you like someone else. I'm not that mature to start thinking that I won't be jealous or act childishly at times so you have to tell me what you feel otherwise I won't be able to tell." The serious expression on Otoya's face was cute and if he was not a reserved person, he would no doubt be chuckling already._

_"Follow me huh? No need to do that when I'll be sure to invite you with me if I do have to leave again. I won't be apart from you again. But in cases of jealousy won't it be my case when you're always the one that's attracting people's attention? Well, if you don't want to be friends, you should know that it won't be easy to break free from me." The last part was added in a teasing tone and he held onto Otoya's hand tightly to make his point._

_Otoya returned his gesture and chortled softly at his words. "I won't want to break free anyway. I already know that life's boring without you even if you're too nagging and cold most of the time. You have to get used to my hugs though and no pushing me away this time! And you have a great voice! I wish I noticed that sooner. Maybe I can start composing a song that the both of us can sing together and we can do a duet!"_

_Looks like Otoya was already hyped up to get them to sing together. He chose to ignore the other parts and only responded to the latter part of Otoya's speech. "Singing huh? Can't say that I dislike it and if it's with you, why not?" Seeing that Tokiya had agreed to his random whim, Otoya was jumping in the air and flashing a victory peace sign. "Maybe we can even take up an idol job in the future and be a singing part."_

_"Sounds interesting. We have to work hard for that then. Singing lessons and everything, it won't be easy but if that's what you want, I suppose I can live with singing and sharing you with the audience during our job. But when we're alone, I'm not going to share you with anyone." Otoya nodded his head in agreement and the pair sealed the deal._

_There were still many loose threads in their relationship that Tokiya knew they had to clear up and the missing five years gap the both of them had. They would have to find out about the changes in their personalities and life during the time they were apart and how to make sure that this relationship worked but Tokiya would be sure to do his best to ensure that everything goes smoothly and Otoya would do the same too._

_Their future was planned out now and even if that failed, they could always find another job that allowed them to work together. He was never letting Otoya out of his life again and there was no way he would be willing to lose the Sun in his life ever again. This time, they would not be apart no matter what the future would bring. This was an oath that he was going to keep._

* * *

_[[ A/N: So this ended up a little derpy. On another note, I kept the part about who Tokiya's crush was a blank since I didn't want to give away that it was Otoya, if you haven't already guessed that it was. This fanfic was something random that I thought of a year ago but since I only got the chance to write it out now, the ending's a little strange since I had to improvise and think of something. _

_Couldn't decide what was the best way to end it so I decided to just leave it off like that. This was a little hard to finish when my mind kept going back to plots for AoKuro so I guess I have to take a break from writing UtaPri again, even though this doesn't really count as UtaPri when it's in an AU setting. _

_Hopefully, I can write another fanfic of Tokiya and Otoya again in the future after I'm done with whatever my brain thought up for AoKuro. I wonder why I'm so obsessed with that pairing recently? = ]]_


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